Worst Friends Ever
by WithDemonWings
Summary: Kurt and Puck just want to have one night together, but apparently that's apparently far too much to ask for. 5 times they tried to have smexy times and were interrupted and the one time they finally did. Rated M for boyxboy sexiness.


_This has been haunting my brain for a while, so I thought I'd get it out of my brain so that I could focus on other, more important things. Like Cleveland or Chemistry Class... I am hoping to update, one or both this week. So fingers crossed!**  
><strong>_

* * *

><p><em><strong>5 Times Puck &amp; Kurt Wanted to Have Sex But Didn't, and the One Time They Finally Did<strong>_

**One**

Ever the romantic, Kurt had wanted to gift himself to Puck. While he and Puck did pretty much everything, hand jobs, blow jobs, rimming, they still hadn't had penetrative sex. He wanted to, they wanted to, but it hadn't happened.

So he'd decided that this year for Puck's birthday, the first they'd had together, he would give himself to his boyfriend.

It had been a wonderful night Kurt had made Puck's favourite dinner, complete with dessert and Puck had loved it. But he usually loved anything that Kurt made.

They'd each had two beers that Burt had allowed bought for them, with the promise that they would be responsible and that Kurt would stay the night. He knew what Puck and Kurt would get up to, and only wanted his son happy and safe, which they always were.

Kurt had pulled Puck up to his room and stripped Puck bare as soft jazz filtered through Puck's speakers.

Puck had been in the middle of stretching Kurt for his impressive girth when the front door slammed open and Puck's sister and mother were yelling at each other.

'Noah Puckerman, get your no good ass down here!' his mother yelled, effectively ruining the moment.

'They weren't supposed to be home,' Puck moaned into Kurt's thigh.

'Noah Elijah Puckerman!' She yelled again just as his sister yelled, 'I hate you!'

'I love you,' Kurt whispered softly, giving him an affectionate kiss before Puck pulled on some clothes and went to find out what his mother was yelling about. Kurt pulled on his own clothing, leaving his underwear on Puck's pillow and crept out of the house.

**Two**

Santana was having a New Year's party. Almost the entire senior class was there. Jacob had been banned from the party but had shown up anyway, only to be handcuffed to the door in the back seat of his car. They had left the heat on in the car and were planning on letting him go eventually.

Puck and Kurt, and everyone, else had been drinking, and the pair was sitting on the couch giggling together.

Then Puck pulled Kurt into his lap and the brunet started to rut against Puck's prominent erection.

'We need to get a room,' Kurt moaned, as Puck's hands groped his ass.

'Santana said we could use a guest room,' Puck blurted, as he stood with Kurt wrapped around him, kissing his neck.

'I want to ring in the new year with you inside me,' Kurt admitted, hiding his blush behind the kisses he was giving Puck's throat.

Puck quickly found the guest room they were to use and Kurt was surprised to find that there were several lit candles around the room and some soft jazz played from the stereo.

'I love you,' Kurt blurted before Puck kissed him hungrily.

They slowly stripped each other bare and Puck covered Kurt's body with his.

He had two fingers buried in Kurt's ass as the lithe form below him writhed in pleasure when the door banged open and Finn dropped on to the bed, garnering a surprised squawk from Kurt and colourful swearing from Puck.

Kurt scrambled to cover himself as Puck glared daggers at Finn.

'She broke up with me for Santana!' Finn wailed.

Kurt dropped back against the pillow with a sigh as Puck laughed outright.

**Three**

It's date night.

Puck doesn't have to look after his little sister and Kurt doesn't have to watch Finn.

They go out for dinner for the first time since Puck asked Kurt to go steady with him. It had all been very 1950-esque, what with Puck giving Kurt his letterman jacket and having asked his dad for permission.

After dinner they wander into a few shops not really looking but wandering. Eventually they end up going to the movies, they don't really care what movie they go see because they'll probably end up making out in the back.

They make it about halfway through the movie before Kurt is in Puck's lap.

'I'm gonna take you home and lick and suck and mark every inch of your sinful body before I suck and lick that beautiful cock of yours until you flood my mouth as I finger fuck your ass,' Puck stated as one hand managed to slip beneath the waistband of Kurt's jeans, caressing him.

Kurt suddenly gave a weak cough.

'What was in that jumbalaya?' Kurt asked, trying not to panic

'Chicken, sausage, shrimp… why?'

Kurt's eyes are wide with fear, 'allergic.'

Puck's eyes are wide as he hauled Kurt into his arms, grabbed his bag and bodily carried him the car.

They had spent the rest of the night in the hospital.

**Four**

Last Valentine's Day Kurt had walked in on his boyfriend taking it up the ass from his, Kurt's, former tormenter.

Puck vowed the make this one perfect. Of course he hadn't planned on his idiot friends.

Puck looked around Kurt's room one last time and smiled in satisfaction. Kurt's bedroom was reminiscent of the guest bedroom at Santana's from New Year's; there are LED candles everywhere. Not quite the same as real candles, but far safer. There aren't any cheesy rose petals, instead Puck had had his little sister help him cut out musical notes and they were scattered on the bed. Carole and Burt are away for the week, and Finn was supposed to be at Rachel's. It was entirely possible that he was at Quinn's. The pair, Quinn and Finn, didn't think anyone knew about them, but everyone did. Save for Rachel.

They shared the fajitas that Kurt loved before Puck presented Kurt with a beautiful silver bracelet, before Kurt presented Puck with a slightly more masculine version of the same bracelet. Puck's was thicker and the stones were a darker blue, but if anyone gave them a second glace they would see the similarities.

Puck had three fingers buried in Kurt's ass, as Kurt pushed himself back, fucking himself on those thick digits.

'Fuck, Noah!' the only time Kurt ever swore was when Puck had his hands on Kurt's lithe, flexible, beautiful body. 'Please so badly!' he moaned.

Puck chuckled but positioned himself at Kurt's well stretched entrance.

Again the door flew open, cracking against the wall causing Puck to pull away from Kurt so fast he almost fell off the bed.

Rachel, in all her weepy misery, flung herself at the bed.

'Finn is such a cock block,' Puck groaned in miserable resignation as she wailed about how the slime ball Finn was cheating on her with the bitchy slut Quinn.

Oh Kurt was so investing in a lock for his room and maybe a security chain or seven for the front and back doors.

**Five**

Mercedes, Rachel and Brittany had gladly taken Kurt shopping on his birthday so Puck set up the romantic night he wanted to spend with his boyfriend of 7 months. He wanted tonight to be special. Because yeah, Kurt desperately wanted to feel Puck inside him, but Puck wanted to feel Kurt inside him, and the last 4 times they'd attempted to have sex, someone (Puck's mother, Finn, some shrimp and Rachel) had been a cock block. So Puck figured it wouldn't hurt to try it the other way. At least Puck hopes it doesn't hurt too much, he's been preparing himself all week for this.

The girls know what Puck has planned, they helped him with the music notes this time, and Puck has to admit that they aren't quite as… rudimentary as the ones he and Maya made. Rachel even managed a bass clef and a treble clef or four.

Finn on the other hand couldn't find a clue if you hand it to him and said, "this is a clue."

It was around eight when it all started, Puck and Kurt had eaten the steak and potatoes dinner that Puck had made. And hadn't that been a shock to Puck when he'd found Kurt chowing down on a double cheeseburger and an extra-large fries. Kurt was a ravenous carnivore. Sure he liked his vegetables and fruits, but sometimes nothing satisfied the hunger like a hunk of prime beef.

After they'd eaten, they settled on the sofa and laughingly fed each other chocolate dipped fruits; strawberries, bananas, pears and mangos as they watched a movie. Kurt would tell you it was Tremors, while Puck would insist it was Resident Evil. They would however both be wrong because everyone knew they'd been watching 28 Days.

'Surprise!' Several of their friends shouted at once, causing Kurt to dup the hot chocolate sauce onto his and Puck's lap as Puck sent the fruits flying around as he snatched his hand back from inside Kurt's pants where he'd been fondling Kurt for the last half hour.

'Cock block!' Kurt hissed in anger as he stormed past Finn to change out of chocolate covered clothing.

'I told you Finndecent,' Santana snapped. 'Tonight was for them, tomorrow is the party, Puckerman had everything planned.'

Finn stood gapping at the pair as several of the others tried to get Kurt, Puck and the fruit cleaned up.

When everything was cleaned up and Kurt and Puck had chocolate-less clothes on, the other gleeks stood awkwardly in the living room, watching them.

Kurt sighed and dropped onto the couch, letting Puck pull him into his lap.

'Either go away or sit down,' he side as he started to rewind the movie to where he'd stopped paying attention only to give up and restart it.

'I love Gerhardt,' Brittany stated before she gave both Kurt and Puck an affectionate kiss before pulling Artie over and helping him into the chair and cuddling up with him.

Taking that as a cue, various couples settled around the room, Mike and Tina on the floor, Blaine and Sam on the other end of the couch while Santana and Rachel took the loveseat and Mercedes and Lauren sat at Kurt and Puck's feet.

Quinn settling herself between the two couples on the couch, while Finn went off to sulk.

'I'm sorry you don't get to have sex tonight,' Quinn offered quietly with a smirk.

Kurt shrugged, 'We'll get there eventually.'

'Yeah and when we do it'll be on the piano in the choir room and you'll have a front row seat,' Puck added with a leer.

'Classy,' Kurt retorted, rolling his eyes.

**And the One Time They Did**

Kurt jumped as the thunder rumbled through the sky. He was alone in the house because Finn and Carole have gone to some family thing in Columbus. It was for Finn's dad, and they didn't think that Burt or Kurt would be welcomed. Burt has gone to Cleveland for the weekend for some business, and then some golf with some old friends.

Rain splattered on the window making Kurt skittish. Not even Harry was helping.

When the lights suddenly flickered before plunging the living room and Kurt into complete darkness, he cried out in terror and burrowed under the thick comforter as he clutched at Dean the stuffed panda. Thunderstorms and the dark were the two things that scared Kurt the most.

He was on the verge of tears when a hand dropped onto his shoulder and he screamed like a 5 year old girl, but suddenly there were strong arms around him and he could smell Axe body spray and baked goods and a low voice was singing softly to him.

It took Kurt a good five minutes to finally calm down.

'You okay now?' Puck asked, gently cupping the side of his face.

Kurt nodded as he said, 'no.'

Puck gave a soft chuckle as he stood, 'come on. I have something to show you.'

Kurt kept a firm hold on Dean, but let Puck lead him to the basement, he did have a flashlight.

'Noah?' he asked, as he noticed the soft glow as they descended the stairs.

Puck stayed silent as he pulled a mildly reluctant Kurt down the stairs.

Kurt gasped as he finally saw what Puck had done to the basement. 'You've been down here the entire time?' he snapped irritably.

'No, I set it up and went home while you were out with Mercedes. I just got back now,' he replied and Kurt finally noticed that Puck was soaking wet.

Puck gave Kurt a soft kiss, 'I'll be right back.' He stated, as he disappeared up the stairs, leaving Kurt to take in the basement.

There were LED candles everywhere and they glowed and flickered like real ones; in the corner there was a small stereo hooked up to a generator and was playing some classic rock.

In the middle of room, was a rather impressive looking fort that was made completely of blankets and pillows, there was even an air mattress inside.

'So you knew the power was going to go out?' Kurt asked with a raised eyebrow as Puck reappeared in a pair of dry sweatpants and a Punisher t-shirt.

'No,' he replied, pulling Kurt into his arms for a sweet kiss, 'but I wanted to be prepared. I know how you get during these things.'

'So, Mr. Boy Scout, what are we going to do down here, all by our lonesome?' he tried to be calm and coy, he'd almost forgotten about the storm outside, but then thunder boomed, sounding like it was right on top of the house and Kurt made an odd noise that Puck could only compare to a mouse being stepped on, or possibly a cat and dove for the fort and the safety it offered.

Puck followed Kurt in and pulled him into his lap and began to sing along to the radio, "Night Moves".

'I'm sorry,' Kurt sighed when the song was over and he reluctantly pulled away from Puck.

Puck kissed him soundly, before he brushed some stray hair off Kurt's forehead, 'you don't have to apologize.'

He then handed Kurt his cobalt DSi before opening his own hot pink one and leered, 'I bet by Dragonite can take your Arcanine.'

'Then you'd lose,' Kurt shot back, lying with his head on Puck's thigh.

Almost an hour later, they were still no closer to finding out if Arcanine could beat Dragonite, because both Kurt and Puck had been in the middle of battles when they'd last closed their systems and they just hadn't battled.

Kurt was the first to close his, and after he set it aside, he grinned and straddled Puck's thighs as he closed Puck's system and set it aside, near his own.

'I love you,' Kurt offered, as he nervously toyed with the bottom of Puck's shirt.

Puck studied Kurt for a moment before he grinned and pulled Kurt down for a hungry kiss, 'I love you so much.'

They stayed like that just kissing, as Puck's hands roamed over Kurt's smooth back and Kurt's hands toyed with Puck's nipples.

One of them groaned as their erections rubbed together and Puck cupped one of Kurt's ass cheeks.

Kurt was the first to tug at Puck's shirt, and they pulled it off before Puck pulled Kurt's off, tossing both aside.

Kurt's hands delved into Puck's sweats as Puck fumbled for the lube that was somewhere. When he found with a triumphant cry, causing Kurt to giggle, he began to toy with Kurt's ass, one slick finger sliding into his hole.

Kurt shimmied out of his own sweats before he pulled Puck's off and immediately descended on Puck's cock, slurping at it like a starving man, but before he could do much, Puck pulled him off and Kurt whined.

'Later,' Puck promised as he began to stroke both cocks together, but that didn't last long either. Kurt grabbed Puck's hands away and began to rut against him, as he devoured his mouth.

Somehow Puck's cock ended up rubbing against Kurt's crack, and it caught on his entrance causing him to cry out and coat their stomachs in come.

Without stopping he tried to impale himself on Puck but the bigger teen wouldn't let him, he pulled Kurt down for a kiss, a long hungry kiss, and began to stretch Kurt, pushing two fingers in easily. Kurt began to hump Puck.

'Fuck, Noah, I need you inside me please, fuck me please!' he begged as tried to impale himself again.

'No, not fuck.' Puck stated, as he rolled them over so he was covering Kurt. 'Make love to,' he added as he pushed steadily into Kurt, who let out a continuous whine as he was finally, _finally¸ _filled with Puck's think cock.

When Puck was fully seated in Kurt, they simply lay there, holding each other.

'You feel so good,' Kurt whispered as he clutched at Puck's back. 'But will you please fucking move?' he demanded as he wiggled his hips, causing Puck to groan.

And he moved. He knew they wouldn't last long, it was their first time and it was everything Puck wanted it to be, and by the noises coming from Kurt he knew he loved it too.

He gave one particularly hard thrust and Kurt's whole body tensed and then he gave an inarticulate cry as his whole body arched under Puck and he exploded over both of them. Kurt's vision greyed around the edges and went limp.

It was too much for Puck, Kurt was tighter than most of Puck's previous partners and when his muscles clamped down on him it was like a vice and he filled Kurt's channel. Never in his sexual life had Puck orgasmed so hard, he saw stars. Fuck, he didn't think he would make it to 19 if it was like that every time with Kurt.

Neither one knew how long they lay curled up together with Kurt's come cooling between them, but Kurt was dozing when Puck gently pulled away. He whimpered when Puck slipped from his entrance. He suddenly felt empty.

He reached out for Puck weakly, but the other boy was already coming back in with a bowl of water and a cloth. He quickly cleaned them both off, before setting the bowl well out of the way so it wouldn't get knocked over and lying back down, pulling a contented Kurt into his arms.

Neither teen had noticed that the rain had tapered off or that the thunder and lightning had begun to fade.

* * *

><p><em>Thanks for reading, and reviews rock my world so please leave one!<em>


End file.
